Don't touch my line!

My son has an obsession with lines! Not lines drawn on paper, not waiting in lines, lines of toys. Yes, I am a little concerned. Whenever he gets something new he doesn't want to play with it for a good week or two. All he wants to do is put it in a line and admire it. Example? He saw a green monster truck toy at Mimi's house. He remembered the truck, dwelled on the truck, and then, in true Evan fashion, asked Mimi to bring him the truck. Mimi, being his "favorite cousin," (according to him), came for Wesley's surgery and brought him the truck with a few others. It was his dream! However, the trucks were not allowed to be touched. Nope. They had to sit in a line on the coffee table with nightly instructions to leave his line there while he slept.

Next, he woke up the other day and asked me if he could go and buy some "chuggers." Chuggers are trains from the Disney Show 'Chuggington.' I told him we didn't have any money for chuggers that day and maybe we could go another time. He laid down, closed his eyes and then opened them with a brilliant idea... "Mom, I have money! I have lots of money in my fish bank!!" I couldn't say no. "Ok buddy, we can go to Target with your money and buy chuggers if you want." He was in heaven again when we found the deal for buy 2 get one free and promptly picked the ones he wanted. I let him count out about six dollars in change for the lady at the cash register and then quickly paid the balance with my card to save the poor girls behind us in line from killing us. He proudly carried the trains to the car and couldn't wait to show his dad. As soon as we got home, he showed Steve and then... Lined the little buggers up. Awesome. The line has been sitting downstairs now for quite some time and I got scolded when I moved the smallest one out of her 'place' in order to fix her wheel. I don't know why he likes them lined up, but I do know this might be getting out of control when I came downstairs to this today:

4 Months Already!

Time is speeding by!  I cannot believe that Baby Brother is already 4 months old!  Yesterday was his 4 month appointment:  Height - 25 1/2 inches (74%), Weight - 16 lbs, 11 oz. (84%), Head - 44 1/2 cm (100%).   He had to get shots (for the first time) and he cried and cried as they pricked his leg.   The doctor was impressed with how well he was doing in his helmet (which didn't surprise me considering the surgeons at Children's told me on Monday that he was a "Poster Child" for this surgery and the helmet!)  He is a WONDERFUL baby.  He smiles all the time, loves his brother and is starting to play with toys.  I adore the way he laughs when we tickle his feet or under his arms and cannot believe he is already into 6-12 month old clothes!  Sleeping and naps are a work in progress with the uncomfortable helmet and his loud older brother. I just put him down in his crib for a morning nap, but quickly had to go pick him up as we heard crying coming from his room.  45 min alone is about the longest we have been able to do.  He prefers being held and sleeping with mom and dad (which I do not blame him for at all -- I wouldn't want to sleep with that smelly thing on my head either! They said it would stink, but I had no idea HOW BAD!)

I love him - ADORE him - and Steve has someone to constantly prove his Hawkeye pride...

 

Bad mom.

Does it make me a bad mom if I laughed at him when I saw this?

SO CUTE!

Helmet day!!!

Today at 1:00 we have an appointment with Children's to get the helmet fitted! Last week we went in for post-surgery scans. Wesley laid in the little machine- laughing the whole time. They did his scans, and everyone was amazed with how well things were coming along. They compared this scan to the one before surgery and already the numbers were creeping toward 'normal.' The desired number is low 80%'s. His numbers are already high 70%'s. The helmet guy said he would be surprised if he has to wear it for longer than 3 months. We are prepared for longer, but are hoping for the best! In any event, the time frame starts TODAY! One yellow helmet will be fitted today and, after Hawkeye stickers are applied to the sides, we will post pictures of the next adventure in our world of heads and helmets!!!

Going Home?!

The scariest day of my life so far. Yesterday we woke up at 3:15 and fed Wesley one more time. We woke up again at 5:15 and started getting ready to go. They had told us that it would be one day in ICU and then up to four days on the surgical floor. I grabbed a suitcase to start packing for my overnight stays. As I unzipped the suitcase I found Evan's long lost Mater shoes tucked safely in the top of the suitcase and his long lost trains (whiff, diesel, and Skarloey!) in the bottom of the suitcase. Apparently he had packed them for a pretend trip awhile ago and I had looked EVERYWHERE for the precious items... except the suitcase. As I found the treasures, tears started streaming down my face. This had to be a sign that everything would be ok. I mean, how could the day that you find your son's favorite things be a bad one, right?

We drove to the hospital and checked in for the unknown at approximately 6:15. Anesthesia. Plastic Surgeons. Neurosurgeons. Nurses. Fellows. Residents. All went by in a sea of blue/green scrubs. We dressed Wesley in the tiniest hospital gown I have ever seen and at 7:30 had to turn him over to an older man wearing yellow crocs, a young Asian nurse, and the anesthesia fellow wearing a black and white hat. Steve hugged me tight as I sobbed in his arms. Please, Steve, let this all be ok!

At 9:15 we were eating bagels in the cafeteria and got a page from the OR saying they had started surgery at 9:00 and would keep us updated. At 10:09 we got another page telling us to head to ICU because he was done and the surgeons were ready to talk to us.

We turned the corner to ICU and I saw the neurosurgeon (with glasses like dr. Shepherd wears on Greys Anatomy) and the Plastic Surgeon standing there. I don't know exactly what was said, but I very clearly remember hearing them say, "He did great!" After that there were a lot of tears from me and a few from Steve and they informed us that because he had done so well and the surgery was so quick, they were going to forego his night in the ICU and move him directly to the surgery floor when a room was available. Wow. I had no choice but to hug the surgeons and continue crying.

Next we were paged to ICU telling us that he was done with post-op stuff and we could see him. As we walked back, he looked fragile, pale, small. So small. The nurse handed him to me and it felt familiar and wonderful and scary and foreign to hold him. He was my precious little baby, my world, my son, but he had wires and monitors and what appeared to be an open wound on the top of his head. Tears were the only response.

Next they moved us to the surgery floor and I cried again as I watched Steve carefully carry the precious cargo in his arms. I am lucky to have Steve. Everyone needs a guy like Steve.

The night/day went by in a blur again. Neuro came by and announced that he was doing great and was on track to leave in the morning. Leave in the morning?! So far, none of this is going like they said- it is going much better!

At this point Jen, Em, and Ben came up to visit which elicited more tears from me. My people. They stayed, we laughed, we talked, they kept my mind off the little grumbling moaning sounds indicating that he was probably in pain and the swelling we could see coming on Wesley. The surgeons said his head would look different after the surgery, but I had no idea it would be this drastic, this fast! He looks like a different kid! (well, right now he looks like a small version of Charlie Brown, but you can also see how much of a positive change this surgery will make!)

After my mom, sisters, and brother left, the nurse helped me to get him settled in his little bed and we both got some much needed sleep. He woke up a few times, but mostly to eat. He took Tylenol and slept through the crying from the little boy sleeping on the other side of the curtain. (count my blessings that Wesley is going through this at such a young age. The little child next door wanted the IV out, wanted a sandwich, wanted his dad, wanted to eat, wanted the nurse to leave him alone, wanted to watch tv, and wanted to brush his teeth all at about 3 a.m.)

Today, neurology came in and confirmed- my child is amazing and can possibly go home today if I feel comfortable with that! Can this be true?!

I made it through yesterday with the hope, thoughts, prayers, and support of so many wonderful people. I cannot believe it is over and I cry thinking about all the positive energy that was spent on wesley's behalf. Hopefully the worst of it is done. He is a little grumpy, a lot swollen, and pretty tired, but I will take all of those things any day to have yesterday behind us!!

Can I do this?

Surgery is set for next Friday and it is consuming me. My every thought. My every plan. Even when I can push it out of my head for a few minutes, it works its way back in in the form of nerves, fear, stress. My mom and Emilee have tickets purchased to come out to help during that time. Just thinking of them being so nice to come out makes me tear up. My emotions are riding at a level just bordering on crying and cannot be trusted to stay at bay. I almost started crying at Bootcamp last week and luckily was able to run 1.75 miles on Sunday instead of curling up into a little ball and sobbing. Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I type this. I looked up helmets today and different ways to decorate them. I know that I will be able to make his little helmet one of the best ones out there, but can I make it to that point? I need my new normal to start, but as much as I am ready for it to be over, I cannot imagine how on earth I am going to stay in the normal of the next 10 days. Please let me make it, but even more importantly let HIM make it. Tears. More tears.

Who me?

Where to begin?  I am just sitting here staring at the blank computer screen.  Steve has Evan at Home Depot and then they are off to wash my car and Wesley just closed his eyes which means I probably have about 15 min. to blog all the things I want to blog, clean out my closet, put pictures up in the boys rooms, do the laundry, clean the kitchen, eat lunch, and get a little bit of work done.  Obviously all of those things are not going to get done today.  Obviously I must prioritize.  Obviously life is passing me by without me even realizing it!

I will start this post with pictures from the Dirty Dash. Yes, these pictures will confirm the warm August day when Jen rallied all the troops together for a nice 5k in the mud! I did not participate in the full run due to the fact that the run was only 5 days post "6 week clearance" from my C-section and I didn't know if it would be a good idea. AND due to the fact that there were 5 little children that needed to be watched as everyone else ran.  After battling about hour with all the little kids, I was able to participate in the kids version with  Jen and Owen and have to admit, I can't wait to do the full thing next year! It was a lot of fun!

The next update would have to be the day that Jen and I took our families to see the REAL LIFE version of Thomas the train. As you can imagine, one little boy (about two and a half years old, 3 feet tall, answers to the name of "Evan") was in HEAVEN! We purchased tickets months in advance and were glad we did! We were surprised as we pulled into the old train depot at Snoqualmie Falls to see that the event was completely sold out and our advance planning paid off!  We were able to see some of his favorite characters, ride on a real train, have a picnic by the rail road tracks as Thomas the Train cruised back and forth, and then finish the day with some delicious ice cream at a local candy shop.  Before the summer started, Jen and I talked about making a list of things that we wanted to do during the summer.  One of the things on the list was going to be to ride a train.  While we never made the list, we DID ride the train!

Next comes the trip to Lake Goodwin.  This little outing came during the 90 degree heat wave and Jen and I knew that we wouldn't possibly survive the day if we stayed at home!  We loaded up the cars and made a quick stop to Target and we were on our way!  (The Subaru fit all the items we needed, but Steve and I discussed actually needing a luggage rack in order to accommodate two children, two parents, and all the supplies for the beach!)

Once we arrived at the beach, things fell into place perfectly.  Muffy was busy gathering items, eating and making sure dogs didn't get her.  Owen was busy playing in the sand, building castles, throwing a frisbee and pretending not to get wet before his sunblock soaked in.  Evan was busy bossing everyone around - "carry me here" "give me a bucket" "take me to the dock" "get me a life jacket."  Wesley stayed in his chair for most of the outing, and Autumn loved the water.  We jumped off the dock, swam, ate delicious snacks and all in all - it was a perfect day!

Oh dear.  I still have two more summer events that I would like to tell you about.  However, Evan is now waiting for his diaper to be changed and Wesley is crying upstairs. 

Awesome.