Monday, September 3, 2012
Can I do this?
Surgery is set for next Friday and it is consuming me. My every thought. My every plan. Even when I can push it out of my head for a few minutes, it works its way back in in the form of nerves, fear, stress. My mom and Emilee have tickets purchased to come out to help during that time. Just thinking of them being so nice to come out makes me tear up. My emotions are riding at a level just bordering on crying and cannot be trusted to stay at bay. I almost started crying at Bootcamp last week and luckily was able to run 1.75 miles on Sunday instead of curling up into a little ball and sobbing. Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I type this. I looked up helmets today and different ways to decorate them. I know that I will be able to make his little helmet one of the best ones out there, but can I make it to that point? I need my new normal to start, but as much as I am ready for it to be over, I cannot imagine how on earth I am going to stay in the normal of the next 10 days. Please let me make it, but even more importantly let HIM make it. Tears. More tears.
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9 comments:
I hope you don't mind that I peek at your blog sometimes. I was thinking about your family and the surgery just the other day. What a hard, scary thing! Your family is in my prayers. But I am certain that he will be the cutest baby wearing a helmet out there!! You are such a good mom. You can do it!
Ray's nephew just had his little guy go through this surgery. He is a week out and doing great! I know your little guy will do just fine and that he will make it through this with flying colors. My prayers are with all of you and I will pray specifically for you to find peace and calm through this difficult time.
Love you so much!
Aunt Cathy
I want to reach through the computer to hug you right now. I will pray for a speedy 10 days full of distraction. It is only so hard because you love so much. You guys will be in our thoughts and prayers.
I wish I could hug you right now. You are such an amazing MOM and little Wesley is the sweetest boy. Thank goodness we have modern medicine, but until it's over, your heart will ache. We are thinking of you and send our love over the next few days!
All my love to you guys. You are such a great mom. Just keep doing your thing and the days will creep by.
What great things people have commented! You do love SO much! You are an AMAZING mom, which is proven even more so by the tears--you care, you love, you are doing your best when things are out of your control.
YES, you CAN do this. And you will be surprised at how strong you will be through it. Tears don't make you weak--not at all.
Sending so much love and many positive thoughts your way!
You and Steve have the strength for each other and your family during this time. Thinking of you and sending hugs to all...
I understand how you feel. When Alexandra was 4 months old the discovered that her hip was not in the socket. After a series of harnesses, they told me she would need surgery and a full body cast for three months! I could not believe it. I was in a complete panic for weeks. I joined an online mother's group for children with hip dysplasia (which I would recommend if they have one for your son's issue). The day came, the surgery went well. I slowly figured out how to hold her, change her diaper, wash her and then I did it for three more months almost without thinking and now that was almost 2 years ago! I can't believe it came and went and I coped as well as I did. You will too...
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