This Really Happened

I titled this post that in case you thought the forthcoming facts were fiction. They are not fiction, and actually happened.

Not too long ago Steve was taking out the trash and came back in to report that some birds had made a nest in the attic. He could see the side of the nest and didn't know whether they were all the way in the attic, or just in the overhang. Of course this observation prompted a call to his dad asking to borrow a very tall ladder (the specifics are not necessary). The call prompted Bob to engineer the very tall ladder to the top of their car and then transfer the said ladder to the top of our car. The ladder was then transported home to use in the investigation of the exact location of the nest.

In the meantime, we had seen TWO, not one, but TWO bees nests hiding in the overhang at two separate locations. Steve and I do not pretend to be brave when it comes to bees, so this discovery prompted a call to Orkin for pest removal!

Fast forward a few days when the very strange, but also very nice Orkin man arrives. "Ma'am, we also like to do a check of your attic while we are here to check for rodent activity and to set a bait station for monitoring." Um, ok. "Hey, maybe you could also check the bird situation while you are up there?"

Nice Orkin man comes down (with pieces of insulation in his hair). "Happy to report that there is no rodent activity, I set a bait station and there are definitely birds in your attic. I will be back in a few weeks to get the birds when the babies are big enough to leave the nest." Oh, that was easy. Sorry to Steve for ruining his plan to investigate the birds.

The next night, say around 3:30 a.m. Steve and I are woken up to the sound of a VERY LARGE rodent scurrying around above our heads in the attic. My first thought? Rat! My next thought? That sounds too big to be a rat! Opossum? Way too big! Raccoon? And by the sound of his feet steps, this raccoon had quite possibly been living on other small rodents and no doubt had some sort of weird mutation that would allow him to hide from Orkin men.

The next day, I call Orkin to come help. I am told I have to wait a few days for my guy to be available. I am convinced that giant, mutant raccoon will only gain more intelligence as the days progress, but I will wait if I must.

Orkin man arrives with a funny little 'rodent removal kit' and heads up to the attic. This time he comes to report that the birds are gone, he has repaired the hole that they got in through, he has set some traps and I should call if I hear rodent screams or thrashing. Is this happening to me?

A few days later he returns (me and my Orkin guy could go out for coffee and buy each other Christmas gifts by this time). This time he heads to the attic and comes down with the most proud look on his face. He promptly announces, "Success!," pats his coat and then proceeds to say, "bagged and concealed and on its way out!"

I think that is Pest control language for "he found a poor dead animal in one of the traps and is trying to remove the poor carcass without showing it to me or Evan." I didn't ask too many questions, just simply signed the form that said, "Rat removal" and thanked the heavens above that it was not Steve doing all this, and that it was not a mutant raccoon that had learned karate like the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

I am glad it is gone, but how hideous that it had to be up there in the first place!!! RIP rat. I am against killing animals for food or for sport, but my morals take a different direction when an animal invades my attic!!