You think that planning a wedding is hard. Try planning a "non-wedding." I am trying to keep this wedding thing as simple as possible. I do not want to worry about small, little details. I do not want to spend a lot of money, and most importantly, I do not want to feel like I am living in someone else's life or version of how this should all be done. I do not want a big wedding. I never have. I am not the girl that has envisioned my "day" since I was a little girl. I am not the girl that has the wedding dress all designed in my head. I am not the girl that has colors picked out and bride's maids dresses in the wings. HOWEVER... because I am not all those things, I am having trouble figuring out exactly what I am.? What I want.? How to do this!?
I figure I need to get someone to marry us. Maybe a judge? How do you just call a judge and say, "um, can you come to my dad's house?"
I figure I should find something to wear. There is not a store that sells "non-wedding" dresses and I don't think my American Eagle jeans would suffice.
I figure I should have something to eat for the small amount of people that are making the trip out to Seattle, but how do you plan for people that don't even know if they are invited?
See. There should be a book on how to plan a non-wedding. There are millions and millions of magazines and books on how to make your day extreme... what about ways to make your extreme your day?
Vegas anyone?
6 comments:
I would call the City and County Building where you will need to go to get your marriage license and ask about hiring a judge to perform your ceremony. I know they will have all the information and costs available. As far as a dress...we were at Macy's two weeks ago and they had a whole bunch of really cute dresses, some fancy some not so much. You could even go online before you go and get a good idea in your head of what you want so you don't have to spend hours trying on dresses. Because your wedding is going to be somewhat casual why don't you do appetizers or finger food for the refreshments. You could even get platters from somewhere like Chili's or Wingers that are all ready to be served. I know there are even places that will do vegetarian platters. Check out the Internet and look up some places in your neighborhood. I'm sure you will find some really good treats. Most of all - don't stress!!! This is supposed to be fun and it is supposed to be your day - whatever you do will be just right!
Love ya tons,
Aunt Cathy
My advice is to do away with bridesmaids, wedding colors, wedding breakfasts, wedding lines, and cheesy photographers who take stupid pictures. Have your wedding in the afternoon so you can spend the morning at the salon getting your hair cut, colored and put up, manicure, pedicure, make-up whatever! Just have a nice relaxing morning having someone else get your ready. Then show up to a casual wedding where the ceremony is short but sweet and then you just "hang out" with your family and close friends. Serve your favorite foods and call it good. I wish we could be there....
OH my hell I feel the same way. I am almost considering Vegas (cough, cough, again). I talked to Jen about it when she went through this. Why are we like this? Are "normal" girls usually just thinking about their weddings in all their free time all throughout their lives??? I watch these wedding shows usually to try to get ideas and whatnot and I'm just like, "WHAT?!" I can't imagine spending so much money on one freakin' night of entertainment! I don't get it! I think I feel the same about weddings as some do about Christmas.
I have one word for you "KOLACHE" A whole meal in a roll.
I am so glad to find a post from someone else who is looking for "how to do a non-wedding." I have been with my sweetie for 19 years (yesterday) and we decided that (if we are still together next summer), we will get "married." We have raised six children together, plus two foster kids. We bought our home together 15 years ago, and we have worked together for the last four years. We are pretty well welded together, but (because age is beginning to be an issue for us -- we are both in our mid-50s), we are starting to consider retirement and our eventual old age. He and I both don't want any question, legally or otherwise, about our relationship should one of us suffer a sever illness or disability, and we DON'T want our kids put in a position of having to make decisions we would rather make for each other.
That said, we (obviously) don't hold much cotton with "traditional" ceremony and the "official" mumbo-jumbo and froo-froo associated with "weddings" (we were both married in previous lives and have already done the big white dress and tux scene).
I think that we will throw a party, not tell our guest that we are getting hitched, and then just do a simple "I marry you, and I marry you" in front of the crowd, sign the papers, and then party for the rest of the night with cool music, lots of dancing, plenty of good food, and a mega-good time for everyone else.
I think it is more about the celebration of our last 20 years and the looking forward to the next 40 that is important--not the processional/candles/repeat-after-me vows/etc.---although I probably WILL buy a new dress for the party...
(I think the best places to shop for interesting, one-of-a-kind frocks are the specialty, artsy shops that you find in places like San Antonio, Telluride, Albuquerque, Park City, etc. rather than in the local mall. Treat yourself to a trip!)
My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. I'm 38 and he is 42; both of us have been married before. We are quite happy with our commitments to each other and would like to have a Non-Wedding party without the legalities and crap of actually getting married. What do you think of the idea of a Non-Wedding?
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