Helmet Update…

Last week I started to notice that Wesley’s helmet seemed to be bothering him more than normal.  He was pulling on the sides and banging on the top.  The little thing also seemed to be rubbing on his cheeks a little more than normal and was harder to get off and on.  My “after the holidays” appointment with Children’s (the surgeons) and with Orthotics was set for today, but I didn’t think we should wait that long for the helmet to be looked at.  I made an appointment to see the orthotics people and took both boys down for a review.  (Evan was happy to get to tag along.  Every time we go to the orthotics place he gets stickers, toys, stuffed animals, etc.  They are very nice and obviously very used to dealing with children).  At the appointment the tech confirmed my worries and told me that the helmet was officially too small.  He did the required “scan” and turns out all the numbers were exactly where they were supposed to be!  Our goal of “Cephalic Ratio” being in the low 80’s? Yep!  82.5 to be exact!  Our goal of 47 cm circumference?  Yep!  46.9!  He informed me that he would shave a little room in the helmet to get Wesley through today so he could meet with the surgeons and figure out the next plan of attack. 

(When I say “shave down,” for those of you who haven’t had a doctor prescribed, orthotic helmet on your baby before – which I am guessing is quite a few of you – the helmet is hard on the outside.  It is made of some sort of very durable plastic type material.  The inside, however, is made of hard-ish foam type stuff.  The helmet originally had about 1 inch (maybe a little less) of foam in the inside.  This foam is contributing to the smell and is the reason we have to clean the helmet every night with alcohol and give Wesley a bath EVERY night.  Each time we have gone in for a check up, they have shaved a little bit of the foam out.  Sometimes on front, sometimes behind the ears, last time by his neck, but almost every time something has been shaved from his cheeks - (they are pretty big cheeks!)  They are able to shave out the foam that is rubbing his skin or making red spots.  They can also make more room for places that are growing in a rapidly growing little boy.)

At the appointment last week, the tech decided to shave more from the cheeks and also a little bit up around the top because the helmet was sitting funny.  Simply too small.  The tech said that “if” the surgeons decided we needed to keep helmeting, we would need to come back in this week and get the new helmet ordered.  I promptly went into planning mode and started looking at colors.  Should the new one be blue or yellow again?  (They don’t give us too many choices.  If they did, you better believe we would have GREEN picked out by Evan.)  What stickers should I pick?  Will his shirts fit over the bigger helmet?  Planning.  However, in the back of my mind I kept silencing this little hope.  The tech said, “if” they wanted us to keep helmeting.  Maybe that meant that we would be done and I could snuggle little Wesley without getting my collar bone smashed by the helmet!  Maybe he could lay down without getting a helmet impression on his little cheek!  Maybe he could start rolling over better and sitting up because the helmet won’t be weighing him down!  Maybe, Maybe, Maybe! 

Today was the appointment with the surgeons and I knew better than to allow that little hope to sneak its way into my thoughts.  The surgeons confirmed that the size and shape look amazing – exactly what we were hoping for.  However, they also confirmed that they didn’t feel comfortable allowing him to be helmet free.  Not yet.  As they were talking I felt like I was listening to Charlie Brown’s teacher. Wanhh, Wanhhh, Wanhh, Wanhh… When they stopped talking, I shook my head and told them I agreed.  We had come so far, I didn’t want any regrets.  I didn’t want to be one of those moms that I have talked to in the waiting room.  The ones that say, “I wish we would have helmeted for ONE more month” or “Looking back now, I wish I hadn’t been in such a hurry to get it off.”  I vowed from the beginning I would do whatever it took to make sure Wesley got the best treatment, the best care and the best options.  I am sticking to my promise, but I am not going to lie and say I wasn’t a tiny bit disappointed. 

I got in the car and called Steve.  All business.  I explained what they had said.  He agreed.  I agreed. I hung up and called over to Orthotics.  All business.  I needed to get the new helmet ordered. I left them a message to call me back and hung up to call Jen.  She didn’t answer.  I hung up and called Dad as promised.  He answered, but quietly said he needed to call me back.  Maybe he was in with an appointment.  I hung up and called Em.  As she answered, tears flew from my eyes.  I couldn’t help it.  Dang that little hope! 

Turns out, we will likely be helmeting for at least another three months.  Maybe longer.  Tears, please stop.  I can do this.  Wesley can do this.  We are used to the helmet now.  Three months have gone by SO fast.  Another three months is nothing in the grand scheme of things!  Tears, please stop.  I must have a clear head when I pick yellow or blue.  This a big decision and I need my eyes to be able to look at the color swatches! 

AND… if they had said he was done, I would have definitely doubted their decision.  I told Jen last week that I thought the sides could still round out a bit and there is a ridge on the top that is very noticeable when his hair is wet.  Today, they confirmed both issues are normal and will just take a little bit more time in the helmet.  Ok.  Here we go.  We have time.  We are on our way to perfection and will stop at nothing short of that!