Being a mom is hard.

I know, most of you are probably thinking, "Yes.  True.  And?"  (or something similar).  However the other day, I had a moment where being "the mom" was really hard.  I know, now you are thinking "there are a lot more of these moments to come."  OR  "If she only knew."  Thanks for your advice and your wisdom, but it didn't make it any easier.

Evan wasn't feeling well.  Maybe it was his tummy.  Or his runny nose.  Or those additional teeth that are threatening to pop through.  He just kept crying and crying.  While all of this was really sad, it was not the hard part.  The hard part was when he was crying and crying - inconsolable - and he only wanted Steve.  He was already crying his head off and when I would take him to try to comfort him, he would start crying even harder and look at his dad with this little face, like "I don't want her!"  So, in my efforts to calm him, I would hand my sobbing son over to Steve.  His crying would lessen, but wouldn't stop.  Steve wasn't rocking him the way he liked and wasn't letting him lay on his favorite blanket all bundled up under his head.  He wasn't singing to him OR telling him a story about the little squirrel that we had seen earlier in the day.  Steve was trying, but he wasn't doing it right, so Evan kept crying.  I sat there feeling totally exposed.  There was NOTHING I could do.  He didn't want me.  He wanted his dad.  His best friend, dad. 

I know, I know, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love me or that he doesn't need me.  It just meant that, at that particular moment, he just wanted the big, strong, loving, arms of his dad.  So, as Steve held him, Evan and I both cried.  Obviously for different reasons.  :)