WideSpread Panic Attacks

So - the Jeep sold. With tears streaming down my face, I turned over the keys. The poor guy who bought it had no idea what to say. He just sort of took the keys, handed me my check, and sped away.

After that, things started spinning. Spinning out of control and in small controlled circles all at the same time. I went back into the house, ate some dinner, ate some chocolate, and started making a banana bread. No flour. No eggs. No applesauce. No choc. chips. No bread. I put everything away. Turned on the TV. Turned off the TV. Filed a few cases. Weighed in on the wii. Gained a pound and a 1/2. Texted with Kristi. Watched Steve spray almost an entire bottle of "Spray and Wash" on his baseball pants. Called Dad to tell him thank you for giving me the Jeep in the first place. Filed some more cases. Became short of breath. Looked at the count-down. Opened a window. Needed air. Smelled the rain. Couldn't breathe. Said good night to Steve. Still can't breathe.

Everything is changing at the same time and you know how I loathe change. Beth moved out. The space is supposed to be nice, but I miss her. I have a new car. It has A/C, but still feels like it doesn't belong me to yet, sort of like a rental. I am getting married. I am excited, but feel the panic attack coming on. I know I sound like a certifiable nut. I recognize that and am trying to deal with it... but then that gives me all the more reason to start panicking.